


Beacon

by kvhh



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Reichenbach, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-12 00:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20162350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kvhh/pseuds/kvhh
Summary: Sherlock has a perfectly good how.John wants a why.





	Beacon

Sherlock tried to follow logic.

He really did.

Sometimes it even worked.

But not today.

John Watson couldn't be made to understand.

Cases were different of course, he explained, then John managed to follow and praise.

Cases were easy.

Coming back for the dead with a perfectly fine explanation seemed like the best plan.

John didn't care for that.

At all.

Sherlock had planned his words carefully, from the moment Mycroft whispered: "time to go back to baker street".

Sherlock will deny to his dying breath thinking of his reunion with John before that, at those times he didn't recognize himself on the mirror thanks to a perfect disguise, as he scammed, lied and killed to exorcize Moriarty's ghost for good.

But his well crafted explanation doesn't matter to John.

John wants a why, and Sherlock wants to scream.

Sherlock once, on a dreadful evening with Mrs Hudson heard a phase on the TV: "show, don't tell".

Wasn't giving up the life he build for himself, his reputation, his freedom, London's gray skies and the puzzles he awaited for at every moment to feel alive proof enough?

Why why why, because I had to, I had to keep you safe, because I love you and I don't remember how I got by before you, because you complete me and because you stayed so far, because you see heaven knows what on me, or at least you did.

Because going down with everything I ever treasured is a far better outcome than seeing you get hurt, because its always being that way with me, I can never have all I want and be content but for a while there you made me believe I could, because losing it all pales to the agony of losing you.

Sherlock feels a light inside, feels it glowing brighter and brighter and brighter and bigger and bigger and he will explode at any moment so he holds onto John, hoping he won't push him away, please don't let him push him away, and he has to say it all, all at once but the light took his words and his brain struggles to understand how can a single person feel as much as he is feeling right at this moment.

So John hold him and the light is tamed for now, but his cheeks are wet and he realizes he is sobbing and John is crying too and John is speaking but Sherlock can't hear him because there is a voice, and the voice is Sherlock's, saying it all at a pace so absurdly fast he can barely understand the words, but John, wonderful, perfect John seems to do because he holds him tighter and Sherlock could stay there forever.

He just might.

**Author's Note:**

> This is but an out of control headcanon at four am. 
> 
> I regret nothing. 
> 
> They kissed afterwards of course.


End file.
